Category: TV

there is a very specific type of tv show where you realize about three episodes in that there is not a single person on screen you would willingly choose to be in a room with, much less share an Uber with, and yet you cannot look away because watching a collection of absolute monsters ruin each other’s lives is apparently the highest form of human entertainment

it is the “the whole gang sucks” trope and honestly fwiw it is carrying the entire television industry on its back

traditionally, storytelling tells us we need a “hero” or at least a “moral center” to hold our hands through the plot but some of the greatest shows ever made looked at that rule and decided to throw it directly into a dumpster. if you want to write a truly legendary dynamic, the recipe is simple: take four to six highly specialized narcissists, lock them in a room, and let them drag everyone down with them

here is how the absolute worst groups of people ended up making the absolute best television

the blueprint: seinfeld and the art of zero personal growth

before we had five-season arcs of prestige television where characters go on complex emotional journeys, we had four incredibly shallow people in a diner complaining about soup. seinfeld essentially pioneered the entire concept of the lovable deplorable

“no hugging, no learning.” — the absolute guiding light of the entire series

jerry, george, elaine, and kramer did not want to become better people, they did not want to save the world, and they certainly did not want to help anyone. they spent nine years being incredibly petty, selfish, and deeply neurotic before eventually ending up in a literal jail cell because they couldn’t stop making fun of someone getting carjacked. it was beautiful fml

the escalation: it’s always sunny in philadelphia

if seinfeld walked, then it’s always sunny sprinted directly off a cliff. the gang at paddy’s pub doesn’t just suck; they are a localized black hole of moral decay that actively ruins every single innocent bystander who makes the mistake of standing within a three-mile radius. cricket was a priest before he met them?? now he is a street-dwelling legend with a half-burned face and a regular routine involving garbage cans, and the waitress just wanted a normal life but is now permanently spiraling because of charlie’s relentless, horrifying devotion

they are the absolute gold standard of the trope because they have zero shame, zero self-awareness, and a combined total of about three decent moments across sixteen seasons, and even those were probably complete accidents

the corporate viper pits: veep and succession

sometimes the gang sucks because they are a family of billionaire media heirs trying to secure their father’s approval, and sometimes they suck because they are the staff of the vice president of the united states. veep is basically a documentary about what happens when you gather the most soulless, career-obsessed, and sycophantic individuals in the country and put them in charge of national policy. watching selina meyer’s staff tear each other to pieces while executing the most embarrassing political blunders in history is so painfully real it hurts lmfaoo

and then there is succession. the roy family is a masterclass in psychological damage, where love is treated as a financial transaction and everyone is constantly trying to stab each other in the back with a very expensive, gold-plated knife. you spend four seasons hoping someone will finally have a normal, healthy conversation only to remember that these are money-obsessed vipers who would gladly ruin a democracy if it meant a 2% bump in their share price

the cartoon chaos: archer and family guy

animated shows have the distinct advantage of being able to make their characters commit actual crimes without having to worry about real-world physics or jail time

• the isis agency: archer is basically a workplace comedy about a group of functional alcoholics, psychopaths, and absolute douchebags who also happen to have weapons of mass destruction. cyril is an absolute wuss, pam is a literal horn-monster, and archer himself is an arrogant man-child whose only saving grace is that he really loves ocelots for some reason
• the griffins: family guy started as a typical dysfunctional sitcom but eventually evolved into a terrifying family unit where even meg is heavily implied to be a literal serial killer, peter is a menace to local infrastructure, and stewie was a baby bent on world domination

at the end of the day, we don’t watch these shows because we want to be friends with these people. we watch them because watching a group of functional adults absolutely refuse to learn a single lesson is a profound, comforting reminder that no matter how much we mess up our own lives, at least we haven’t accidentally set a local priest on fire or ruined a country’s agricultural policy because of a petty grudge